Meme Menagerie

Starting a blog posting – or any communication — with the word “I,” is a great way to distract your audience from your message, and to get them to focus on you… if you’re lucky.  If you’re unlucky, starting your message with the word “I“  (or better yet, the words “I think” or “I find“) will get your audience to think about how badly you *want* them to focus on you. Either way, your message will be lost in a blaze of self-centered glory.

The I Chart -- Is This Why They Call You a Visionary?

Avoiding the “I” can be a delicate dance.  On the one hand, you’ve got the “we” approach, but unless the “we” includes your audience, it’s just a more collective version of “I,” with many of the same issues. We will not be amused. On the other hand, you’ve got the passive voice.  If the passive voice is used, a mistake is being made, awkwardness ensues, and annoyance eventually results.  You want to maintain an active voice, especially if you want to call people to action. “You” is a good I-substitute strategy, but not all messages can be turned around to the audience’s frame of reference. Also, too much “you” can sound overly commanding, or create a distance between yourself and your audience. For that reason, experienced writers will mix things up and use different techniques to get around the “I” trap. 

On the flip side of all this: Someone once pointed out to me that they found the “I” valuable, in terms of personalizing their messages, and making those messages feel more authentic. Actually, nobody ever told that to me, but you get the point: By sharing something from my life, something that I’ve experienced and that you can relate to, my message can have a greater impact. 

For that reason, in any given email/blog post/letter/presentation, I try to avoid *starting* with the “I.“  Once I’m in the middle of the communication, I will make my appearance with the I’s, me‘s and my‘s,  but only as much as the occasion calls for .  (Tangentially, I also avoid the contraction “I’ll” as it looks too much like “ill,” though beware: if you write with a complete lack of contractions you’ll generally come across as stifled or insane… as with any tip or guideline, take it with a grain of salt…) Other areas of I-sensitivity include the start of a section/paragraph, or the start of a sentence. This is not self-effacement… it’s me putting my focus on you, the audience.

In his book, “Soft Selling in a Hard World,” (pg.24) Jerry Vass features something called the “I Chart,”  which he warns salespeople against. (The image included in this post is adapted from that book, see the original here… or buy the book here) Want to come across as a self-absorbed narcissist?  Construct your messages by reading off the I-chart.      

Finally, some messages do work well with an “I” opening focus, for example, “I’m so happy to be here today to talk with you,”  or “I really enjoyed our chat together.”  For those, inserting a “Thank you” before the “I” will usually work nicely… and even then, you might want to find a way to remove the “I” anyway. 

(Thank you for reading this — it’s been a pleasure to write it! If you have any thoughts, flames or questions, please post your comments below.)

Filed under: Blogging, Communication Skills, Sales